MARRIAGE, like LOVE, is just something that has evolved in order to keep two people together long enough to raise dependent young. Whereas the latter is the product of biological evolution – the former is the product of a cultural one. Incidentally, marriage may have evolved to buffer against the inadequacy of Love in fulfilling this very important role.
Surely, if passionate Love lasted for the time required to raise a dependent young we would not need a legal contract to secure a commitment. Women would be left assured that they would be supported during the vulnerable time of pregnancy and that their children would have the resources to grow up to be independent adults. Men would be left assured that their genes would be passed on without the risk of a reallocation of resources due to infidelity. Of course, women would have this assurance, as well, since infidelity can potentially lead to the allocation of the man’s resources to another woman’s child. I am working on the assumption here that if people are in love they do not cheat. This is not always the case since there are people out there who cheat even if they are in love (some may disagree with me on this). However, marriage will surely not mitigate that risk for those particular individuals so that may be a moot point.
In most people, passionate love lasts a year on an average and begins to decline thereafter. Moreover, the biggest declines are experienced 18 months after the birth of the first child and the honeymoon levels return only after the children have left the nest (if the couple is still together!). Half the couples do not survive through this stage, although it should be pointed out that the maturity of the woman at time of marriage may somehow mitigate this risk (risk declines for college educated women over 23 years of age). This could be due to their better discriminating abilities in choosing the appropriate partner. There are always the 10-15% of that marriage statistic who are an anomaly and do not suffer from this decline. Their marriage satisfaction remains the same or even increases. Nevertheless, for most people passionate love does not last long enough to make it through the particularly vulnerable periods and marriage takes over. Most divorces occur about 7-10 years after the marriage, which is also around the time when the child enters into some sort of school system and thus the woman’s ability to support herself increases. In this sense, although it is not an optimum situation, the marriage has served its purpose.
Marriage is mostly a financially/legally driven institution, since it ensures the protection of the female against a dead-beat dad. No matter how independent and career oriented the woman is before the marriage, there will be a time when she is pregnant and will rely on some sort of support from her partner (emotional, physical, and financial). This period also sets women back in careers where one needs to maintain momentum: a legal career where one may be on a partner track, academic careers where constant publications are important, and careers in medicine where there is a considerable physical and mental strain involved in the necessary steps needed to proceed with the career path. Usually, if the women is to have her first child before the age of 35 (which is physically preferred for both woman and child), then this financial set back will happen at just the most importune time where particularly ambitious careers are concerned (ones in which graduate and post graduate commitment is usually required).
The financial ramifications of marriage deter the man from simply leaving. It ensures that if the man was to leave, there would be financial costs. This makes sense since the woman invests considerable physical/emotional costs in the creation of his progeny and the effort involved in raising the young. Men do not have this cost in producing offspring since they can leave at any time and nearly instantly produce offspring with another female. It is not so easy for the female since it takes a year of effort and there is a biological limit to how many children a woman can have and how late. So there must be something deterring men from simply leaving. In addition, when divorces do occur 7-10 years into the marriage, it is usually the man who is the breadwinner and the woman’s career was somehow interrupted at some point in hers. This means that regardless of the extra effort put into maintaining a career (extra since it is done in spite of the physical and emotional difficulties in maintaining a career while raising children), the woman’s career will necessarily be less developed than it could have been if she did not take the time to give birth. The man does not usually have to make such an investment, and certainly to a lesser extent if he does. And here I would argue against the prenuptial agreement, since it basically defeats the point of marriage in the first place. If a man is to leave a woman during a time when she is just able to resume her career full throttle (given she even has that opportunity), she is usually at a disadvantage. Most laws ensure that, particularly when there are children involved, the man will have to pay for the divorce. Although divorce has such a big financial cost to a man, it also has many advantages. Men remarry more often than women after divorce and thus have the opportunity to go on and have more children, usually with women with whom they have a larger age discrepancy than their first wife. Biologically, this is a great advantage to them. It is also in line with the fact that the biological advantages usually go to the men who are able to acquire and disperse the most resources. The men who are able to financially withstand a marriage, its consequent offspring, and the subsequent divorce can have the evolutionary reward of not only continued reproduction, but also diversify their gene pool with a variety of women (see previous post on The Modern Alpha Male). Men are also said to benefit from married life physically. They live longer if married, are healthier throughout the duration, and have more access to regular sex.
With the rising divorce rates, many people are wondering if marriage is becoming outdated. As one can see, as long as the women experiences economic disadvantages incurred during pregnancy, there will be a need for financial security. As more women are becoming independent, educated, and career oriented despite all this, the divorce rate will continue to climb unless it becomes leveled off due to another phenomenon.
For instance, some scientific advances may drastically change the structure of the social contract. Many of the costs of marriage to women are incurred because of the ticking biological clock which forces women to have children before a certain age. For instance, say women could easily have children at 40 or 45. By that time, ones career may have blossomed and there would be sufficient savings to care for a child without the financial help of a man. The emotional support would still be optimum, but it would certainly diminish the extent to which people are together based on needs rather than desire and emotional fulfillment. This balance in power between men and women could also lead to more egalitarian relationships, which are happier on average. One may say that an older woman could have a harder time securing a desired man at such an age, but I believe that such an advance would be followed by a drastic cultural shift of what we consider desirable traits. This can take a long time to materialize, but I think the following changes would occur.
Men will be more apt to go for older women. Most men want a woman in her childbearing years, whether consciously or not, since they are biologically conditioned to want this. With new plastic surgery, beauty products, and physical fitness opportunities women are able to look younger than they are and this trend will continue. If a woman can look the part, this will take care of the subconscious processes that are driving this selection in men. The added fertility advantage will make an older woman desirable in every other sense, as well. She will have emotional maturity, will be able to offer upward economic mobility for the couple, will have the added sexual experiences to be skilled in that department, the added sophistication due to opportunities in cultural experiences that age offers, and will have developed herself in many other ways to have become a more desirable partner.
Women will be more apt to go for younger (but not too much younger) men. Men still take a while to mature to the point where they are ready to raise a family and this trend will continue. However, men have the same fertility risks as women even though it is not as accelerated…or advertised. Men’s ability to produce healthy sperm decreases after the age of 35. Although men can produce sperm much later than women can produce eggs, there is greater risks of fragmented and damaged DNA. This means that a man can fertilize an egg while older, but the child may have risks of disorders such a schizophrenia, etc. and so it is not as desirable. We assume here that the fertility advance would only be for women and so men would now have the pressure to not only be successful but also do so at a younger age. Since women will now have less pressure to marry for resources, they will be able to choose men more based on gene-fitness and emotional factors. Physical fitness and symmetry will become more valued; a sense of humor, creativity, and emotional openness may become more selected for since it will prove to be most desirable to a woman who wants an equal partner with whom she can enjoy herself.
Sounds unbelievable? Look at celebrities! The women look much younger and have the resources to sustain a later pregnancy (although not as robust as that of a scientific egg renewal proposal) and they also have the financial security most women do not. You see women like Halle Barry and Demi Moore choosing young and handsome men who make for great companions.
This is also an example of what may happen to marriage if these opportunities were the trend for most of society!(links to references will be added at a later time)
LoveLab 
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